Single Parenting is one of the most difficult and challenging life but it’s a mere fact that it becomes a trend nowadays. Single Parenting as Wikipedia defines a person who lives with a child or children and who does not have a spouse or live-in partner. Commonly reasons for single parenthood are divorce, break-up, abandonment, death of another parent, childbirth by a single woman, a single person adoption. A family with children that are headed by a single parent is known as Single Parent Family.
No doubt about it. Single parenting is hard. Even with a partner, raising a child is tough, what more when you have to do it alone?
But this is a situation that single parents have to face whether they like it or not. They are responsible for a child and even though this is a situation that they do not want or have expected, they have no choice but to face it.
Single Parent became more popular and given importance when it was created into TV series. This Single Parenting Show (TV Series) an American Sitcom television was premiered on September 26, 2018. This comedy sitcom ensemble group of single parents as they lean on each other to help raise their 7 yrs. Old kids and maintain some kind of personal lives outside of parenthood. The Single Parent casts Taran Killam, Leighton Meester, Kimrie Lewis, Brad Garrett, Jake Choi, Marlow Barkley, Tyler Wladis, Devin Trey Campbell, Mia Allan, and Ella Allan. This Single Parenting TV show on ABC showed how the group of single parents do their support system as they raised their kids.
Single parenting when unexpected is tough and few moms are really prepared of the responsibility that comes with it. As a single mom, it is your duty to play both the role of a father and a mother which means more responsibilities than you ever had before. To cope up with this, you need to believe in yourself and your ability to get through every obstacle that will come along. Coupled with the loving support of your family and friends, you will eventually see that parenting in a one-parent family is not all difficulties and stress but joys and rewards as well.
Here are some tips that can help you survive the life of single parenting:
1. How to get through over guilt – As a single parents it is likely for you to have moments of insecurity about your ability to raise your children alone. Feelings of guilt, regret, or even frustration are part of your unsuccessful attempt of giving your children a complete family. However, you must not let these negative emotions overpower you or else your children will also have unhealthy relationships towards you and other people.
2. How to provide make role models for your child – Experts say that it is important for single parents to expose their children to other positive men like their grandpa or their uncles. This allows children to feel that they can still receive the love and attention they would normally get from their fathers.
3. How to seek child support – Your child deserves every kind of support from you and his father. Seeking a child’s support is not a way to get back at his father but a way to help you support your child. If a father refuses a child support, you can ask for government’s help. Many States are adopting laws to prevent delinquent parents running away from their responsibilities.
4. How to maintain a civil relationship with your child’s father – Experts advice that it is your responsibility as a parent to keep the lines of communication open and maintain a civil relationship with your child’s father. You must maintain your cool and learn to compromise to allow a good father-child reltionship.
5. How to answer when the child asks about the father – There will come a time when your child asks about his other parent. It is scaring but as a mother it is your responsibility to answer questions regarding his father and your household situation honestly and specifically as possible. You need to reassure your child that despite of the circumstances, both of his parents love him or her.
6. How to remind your child of his father – Even if a child’s father can’t play an active role in a child’s life it is still vital to keep his memory in the child’s mind. Encourage your child to nurture his relationship with his dad by constantly reminding something good about his father like a beautiful voice or an enjoyable bonding game they enjoy.
7. Ways to reach out to support networks – Swallowing a little pride and confiding some of your concerns to your family and friends will lighten your parental load. It will also help if you let your family and friends bond with your kids on special occasions or on weekends. For single parenting support groups within your community, you may check: singleparentsnetwork.com or singlemom.com.
Trials Of Single Parenting And How People Deal With It
One of the hardest parts perhaps in being a single parent is to make sure that your child is well provided for. If you do not have the support of your parents, this can be hard, even impossible. You need to rent a house and pay for food, milk and diapers. Some, especially those who have to work, also need to pay for babysitting services. There are also the child equipment like a crib, a play mat and a stroller, not to mention the toys and books that they need to enrich their brain and enhance their learning.
And when the child grows up, you will also need to pay for their education from preschool to college. That is of course still decades from now but it is also something that you have to consider and plan for. Remember also that kids do not have medical insurance. You need to pay for their medical bills should they get sick. Being the single breadwinner in the family, some single parents take on two to three sometimes even four jobs just to be able to make both ends meet and have some savings for the future.
Others however are still in denial. They still cannot accept that they already have responsibilities. These are the ones who lead single lives despite having a kid. They still go to parties and have a good time even when they have a kid to take care of.
Another trial of being a single parent is the loneliness. This is especially true for those who have not received any support from their parents or from any relatives. Basically, single parents in this kind of situation only have their children as partner and this can be an awfully sad and lonely existence for anyone. Some single parents, who cannot take the loneliness, cope with it by establishing a super close relationship with their child, which can be too constricting for the growing child. These are the parents who are too strict and are overprotective. Others seek for comfort outside the home by going out on dates and searching for a partner. This however can also backfire because the relationship with the child can suffer.
Although it is already something that we see every day, there are still communities that frown upon early pregnancy before marriage. Single parents often have to deal with the social stigma. This can be a problem because it is another stressor that you do not really need to have. Some young single parents move to cities or leave their towns to start a new life.
Unveiling the Possible Effects of Single Parenting
Times are rapidly changing. The elderly always argue that the modern culture has forsaken and outgrown the values taught and instilled by old customs, beliefs and traditions.
Moralists and conservative people are almost always raising their brows and expressing disgust over how current belief and culture systems are evolving. What has been unacceptable in the old world is now becoming fast and rapidly rising trends.
Taboos and outcast-driving issues of yesterday’s years are now very common have set minds of people that they actually are just normal and acceptable.
Because single parenting or parenthood is somehow a choice and decision, taken by the parent, one voice is still unheard of. It is that of the child’s.
Psychologists and advocates argue and insist that single parenting has adverse mental, emotional and psychological effect to the child. Tests from time to time validate that premise.
Several studies have found that the child’s thinking and mental mind set is somehow altered or affected if that child was raised by a single parent.
The society can sometimes be too cruel for such children, which can make things worse. Humiliation and awkward feeling of insecurity is dangerous if left untreated or undetected in the child. That child can take the burden for the rest of his or her life.
One of the issues that were raising the ire of people decades and even centuries back is the issue of single parenting. A quick look at social philosophies link single parenting to adventurism and liberation of people.
Single parenting is becoming a rapidly rising trend in the society. Studies in the US alone indicate that there are four single parents to every ten parents, there are two single parents for every 10 adults in the country.
Nowadays, single parenting is becoming a normal occurrence. Society is not that judgmental anymore towards the single parent and the child. Probably, it can be because of the immunity due to the rising number of single parents. Anyway, it can be positive because at least, single parents choose to be productive.